Divorce : Common Grounds of Divorce

When the happy ending comes to an end – the common grounds of breakdown of a marriage.

“Till death do us part” – a sacred phrase that associated to the sanctity of a marriage. As strong and pure as it comes across, reality is often not the case.

In truth, as time progresses, changes come in every form and marriage is not an exception to this transient mechanism. What seemed to be a perfect relationship suddenly experiences changes that turn it for the worse, ultimately culminating with the couple in the wedlock finding themselves unable to live with each other anymore. There are couples who are able to work together as a team to face the challenges in their marriage and successfully overcome them. However, there are also couples who are unable to set aside their differences leading to animosity and distress between them.

So, what are the regular and usual causes of a breakdown of a marriage? The Law Reform (Marriage and Divorce) Act 1976 recognizes the following as grounds of a breakdown of a marriage: -

• Adultery

• One spouse has deserted the other spouse for more than two years;

• Where one party has behaved in a manner where the other party cannot reasonably be expected to continue to live together; and

• The couple has stayed separately for more than two years from the date of marriage.

Adultery – Love outside the bond of marriage

The cultural norms of the society highly regard the sacredness of a marital bond between a man and a woman. Aside from the cultural norm, the emotional aspect of the marriage confers upon the need to upkeep the loyalty and faithfulness of the married couple to each other.

Going astray from such faithfulness and loyalty in a marriage, no matter what the reason could be, is nothing short of a betrayal. A great many debates and discussions conducted and is still contemplated by many as to why some people even chose to engage in an affair with a third person outside the bonds of marriage; especially when the marriage is a monogamous concept.

In Malaysia, an individual may file a divorce petition on the basis of the breakdown of the marriage being attributed to their spouse having committed adultery with a third party. Further, that individual may also seek damages (in monetary form) against the third party for being the cause of the breakdown of the marriage. However, it is important to keep in mind, that accusation of adultery is a strong ground that needs to be proven beyond doubt in court for it factors into the character and morals of the individual against whom the accusation is made.

Desertion and separation

In some marriages, the couple may have separated from each other and this separation is largely contributed to an array of non-exhaustive factors such as incompatibility, inability to compromise, differences in opinions, etc.  The law in Malaysia accords that where a couple had been separated for more than two years or one of the spouses is deserted by the other spouse for whatever reason it may be, these two grounds are recognized as grounds for divorce.

At a glance, the grounds of separation and desertion may be the same but in a case of a couple who had been separated, commonly the couple took the decision collectively and, in most instances, they know of each other’s’ whereabouts. In a case desertion, commonly, one spouse is left behind by the other with any valid reason and in certain situations they do not know where their spouse is. Regardless, being separated from each other or where the spouse has deserted the other for more than two years, both are recognized grounds to initiate divorce proceedings.

When one cannot be reasonably expected to live together with their spouse anymore

Apart from adultery, this is the most common ground sought by many individuals seeking to divorce their spouse. This ground is considerably general in nature and covers many situations where it falls under the ambit of “cannot be reasonably expected to live together with their spouse anymore”. For example, toxic relationship.

What can be described as toxic relationship? Perhaps, where an individual behaves in a narcissist manner towards their spouse, where one is constantly aggressive towards the other be it physically, verbally, mentally and emotionally, gaslighting a spouse, over-possessiveness, jealousy, unwarranted suspicions, constant complaining and nagging; all these attributes to a toxic, unhealthy marital relationship between the couple where it renders the couple unable to withstand, let alone tolerate each other’s presence anymore.